20/20

I try not to regret time not spent wisely. Who is to judge anyway? I've accepted the reality of our relationship - what's survived and what we're attempting to reconstruct. I think about you a lot, because I miss you and I want things to be different. But I've said it to you before, in the midst of my period of teenage angst, that things will never be the way they used to be. Thinking back now, I can't even remember why I was angry. I know what happened. But now, I have no emotions to spare for the last 10 years of our life. I remember periods of time where I wouldn't even look at you, and honestly it was because you did the same to me. You would look right through me. You made my heart so cold, and I feel like now I punish those that only try to love me. I just can't take it. I don't believe that it's real. The frozen region of my heart strictly governed by logic is not the only quality we share. You despised traits in me that you hated in yourself. My hard headedness, my will, my strength, my fear of being alone, my sweet tooth. That was only fuel to my fire. I hated that you hated the things that made us the same. I'm older now, still no emotions, but with the knowledge to accept that hindsight is always 20/20.

Moving forward, I hope to take advantage of the things we used to loathe. I suppose I'm only speaking from my perspective, but seeing that we're one in the same, I'm positive your feelings are in agreement.