Along with the fresh perspective and new appreciation 25 has introduced into my life, it has also brought along an equal amount of tests. By far, the test I found the most difficult was the test of my independence. By the beginning of 25, my life had been flipped upside down. I was in a new apartment, looking for a new job, finished with school so I had more time on my hands than I knew what to do with, and what was most daunting was that I was doing all of this pretty much alone. I was forced to find comfort within myself. For the last 3 years I had gotten used to living with just 1 other person, and before that I lived with my entire family. I've never been this alone in my whole life. I was scared as shit. I'm only realizing now how scared I really was after the reality of my new living situation finally dawned on me. Being able to step back and see how much I had to grow out of my old ways to pass this test impresses me a little bit. I don't like to be too pleased with myself, but the way I relied on guys to provide me happiness and security was something else. At the core of both scenarios though - then and now - is the fact that I enjoy companionship. The difference now though is I'm not afraid to be alone. 

It's been 7 months that I've lived on my own now. And while there are still times when I get lonely, my little hole in the wall has become my sanctuary and I fill that need here. I can't believe how much comfort I've found in my apartment, and it's still surreal to imagine myself walking around and doing things for myself around my own little home.