As I revamped my blog this evening, it was distracting to see my old posts. My life has moved on so far from that, and it made me wonder if I should even keep them up. Something I've learned about myself this year is that I am stuck amidst a constant battle between conflicting feelings. On one hand, I wanted to delete them because I'm done with that part of my life and what I posted only represented a fraction of what things really were. It was a poor representation of my reality at the time. But on the other hand, it was a representation of my mindset and although I feel and think differently now, that doesn't mean it never happened. In addition, I only know it was a poor representation because of how far back I can step from that part of my life and observe the things that went on from an outsiders perspective. So alas, I kept the posts up because I can't change the past - and if it never happened I wouldn't know what I know today.

Moving along, to reintroduce myself and my life to this blogging world I'm not going to delve into details of what's happened since my last posts. If you keep up with me, I'll fill you in as necessary. As for my current situation, and what's mostly prompted me to start this again, I'm in an in-between phase in my life. Where, over the years I've gotten my shit together but now I'm not quite sure what to do. I'm transitioning from a student to...I'm not even sure what? I guess I wanted to call the next role I'd play in my life "the working professional" but that just doesn't sound like me. Contradiction #2 for the evening Instead of being afraid or frustrated by this daunting phase, I've chosen to embrace it and appreciate everything I can learn in this time. Since my break up, I've developed this carefree, airy attitude about life. And I've recently been resting heavily on my belief that

Everything is best the way it happens.

Someone who has grown very dear to me over the years told me this and it immediately brought me peace. In that moment I felt like I understood life a little bit more. 

Another thing I've learned about myself is that I am an extremely sleepy person. Literally, even if I sleep in all day, by 9pm I'm ready for sleep again. Although, oddly enough, if I can urge myself to stay up late or all night even, I'm just as satisfied with that. Contradiction #3 There's something about the early morning that's enchanting and the aura during those hours romances me. It's not something I get to experience often and maybe because I haven't exhausted the novelty of it I'm still able to enjoy it. But as for tonight, I need to get some sleep because I work in the morning. 

Until next time.