I have had a flurry of emotions come over me these past few days. I'm sure they were triggered by hormones. I don't usually like to get emotional about things. I don't feel like it solves anything, and I am a firm believer that you just don't think or act rationally when you let your emotions get the best of you. I don't believe in following your heart, and I think that the best decisions are made when you think about things rationally and realistically. With that said, I became worried that something might really be wrong with my life if I was having that many emotions. Well turns out my life isn't going to shit. I suppose just to play devil's advocate, I did also consider that my life is indeed going to shit, and only in that moment was mind clear enough to see that. Regardless, I decided on the former. Although I do feel that some of the emotions were warranted. Only because as I think about how to describe them, I relive them as well.

It all culminated today. I was making the schedule, when I misread a request for a day off. To preface, this employee asks for so many days off. I don't have a problem approving them, but for some reason, this was my breaking point today. I literally stood there holding back tears. I felt so stupid, but that's besides the point. Money is always the source of my stress. There just hasn't been enough of it lately. We work and work and work and still, there isn't enough. I'm the type of person that can sit down and plan out how my money is going to be spent. It calms me to do this. But when I'm partnered with someone whose mind doesn't work this way, in fact, it functions in quite the opposite manner, that's when I become emotional. When the control freak that I am cannot control the entire situation.  Here is where my emotions kick in. I became overwhelmed, and literally freaked the fuck out. In hindsight, it's not nearly as bad as I thought it was, though. I suppose it never is.